What’s It Like

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Being an Evangelical Catholic is like telling your story to the world. In other words, it’s speaking from your heart knowing no matter who might be listening; the story would be the same. It’s knowing what you heard is the truth because it’s the same truth any believer would have heard. It’s about learning some life lessons, seeing yourself in them and learning from the experience. One of my lessons is this.

When I was in the world, making my way as a wage earner I was intently focused on the rewards of my labor. I wanted the prestige work, the money and all the trimmings. I was so focused on the gifts, I forgot about the Giver of Gifts. I was so focused on me I forgot about Him. As I came to realize it was me focused on me, I got a glimpse of His Grace; it had been Jesus all along. Some one told me, we are all guided missiles on an ever-correcting course, and I actually understood some of what that meant. I was getting part of the story, at least enough to turn and look.

What I saw, was amazing; hiding in plain sight so to speak. A confirming and reassuring state of mind was making its present felt, I was heading toward a Baptism of Desire. The apprehensive aspects were fading away and the yearning and eagerness were providing the energy. This was beginning to get exciting. The possibilities were endless, this sure seemed like the vista vision I was looking for. I was about to be forgiven. Forgiven for the pain and confusion I had caused. Forgiven for being the small person I so dearly protected.

It was only after I had joyously jump on the band wagon, had taken my victory lap and stood in the adulation of my many admirers that it hit me like the five-gallon ice cold shower of gator aid; I had done it again. The same old me, just amped up, the same circuits, the same electric, the same old stuff. I had missed again. It wasn’t about me and my forgiveness; it was about Him and His Divine Mercy. It wasn’t what I was getting; it was what He was giving. OK, strike two; what’s next, I don’t know. I know where He is leading me, I don’t know how he will get me there, but I’m going with Him anyway.

What’s It Like I

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Questions are…more important than answers

Good questions make better answers…than good answers make.

Why would I say this; because our minds armed with reason, logic and hopefully some intelligence struggles forward, forever marching forward to find an answer? Finding a definitive answer in an infinite universe; good luck with that. With this in mind, let’s admit even the best of answers needs some qualification. If we listen closely to what’s being said, isn’t there a “both this and this also” added or implied to each answer. As resolute as it might sound in the beginning, I believe we look for something more. I offer you this, as complete as the answer may be, as firm as the ground may seem to be, we don’t bask in the glory of the answer like a tourist on the beach. Even the finest “ah ha” moments are short lived…..We quickly move our sight to the next horizon. Our new found revelation becomes another stone in our neatly laid road, another brick on the wall, another freshly packed pigeon hole.

So be honest, isn’t asking “what and how” a lot more exciting than putting the last piece of the puzzle together. Don’t we want “uncertainty” to have a calming effect on us rather than an unsettling one? Isn’t “I’m not sure” and “I don’t know” more engaging than the answers we are standing on? Doesn’t life remind us that the journey is more important than the destination? Isn’t the answer a far gone conclusion? Isn’t the Lord leading us all to heaven; isn’t the answer, we don’t know how He will get us there, but we are going with Him anyway.

Baptism of Desire

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I believe the kingdom of heaven is within me, I experience God’s grace and goodness. I believe my reward is here and now, for the Lord rewards the faithful. It is from the moment of inspiration, my rebirth, the moment I say, “Yes Lord” to the moment of my death which will be judged. During this life, with this heart and through these deeds; I will present myself to the Lord. I will go to him with an open and happy heart. Not as the child I was or the sinner I tried to change, or the seeker I became, but as the man who said “yes Lord, I will” and took my path forward in his name. It wasn’t that I served, or gave, or spoke or wrote, it was simply that I prayed and behaved so my life would be a blessing to everyone. The Lord prepares my place in heaven, here and now, as I live my life. My life is rich and rewarding because this is the nature of the Lord, I have my faith to prove it. I believe faith is the foundation, love is the answer and forgiveness is the key.

It Is I

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In this stage of my life, when I can say with some confidence that I have done all the hard stuff, one simple truth still needs to be explored. That the obvious sometimes goes unnoticed and what we take for granted isn’t always what we expected it to be.

We have often heard it said, that God will never give us more than we can handle. As reassuring and comforting as this sounds, it’s simply not true. It’s more that, God will never give us more than what He can’t handle. In every moment of every moment we have a choice. We can cry out to our Lord God or we can try it on our own. We can turn to Him for Providence, Protection and Guidance or we can turn away in ignorance or bitterness. We can put more faith in our Faith, than faith in ourselves. We can turn to our Lord God and listen in the silence of our hearts for these simple words…..It Is I.